Our first son entered the world without a single toy in our home. We were so focused on making sure he had enough clothing, diapers, books, and furniture that we did not consider that one day he would want to play with a toy. When my mom asked what toys he had in his room, it hit me that we didn’t even have a ball to roll with him. This was when things started to head downhill. I still have no clue how we accumulated so many toys. Donations, gifts, consignment sales, happy meals, impulse purchases at stores, and hand me downs all started to take over our house!
Fast forward nine years – a lot of those toys STILL existed in our home along with every other toy we have purchased over years and I felt smothered. We moved twice since our first son was born and all of those things followed us and continued to take up space. We had many things in storage for over two years in between one of our moves. I was amazed that we really did not need all of these toys to entertain either one of our boys. There are toys that we will always keep and I’m glad we invested the money into them. There are also toys I regret and will gladly give away. Here’s what we’ve learned over the years:
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- Bigger is not always better. In fact, it’s a complete pain to have an oversized police station that cannot be broken down into smaller pieces for storage. For the 15 minutes that it entertains my kids, it’s great! Because it’s so big, it has to be put away when they are done playing with it. From there, it collects dust on a shelf in our basement. If they want to play with a police car, they have a hot wheels car and hot wheels racing track. This track can easily grow in size with their imagination and it breaks down when done. One time, I walked into the living room to find the track starting at the top of our stairs and extending out the front door. There was a bucket at the end to catch all of the flying cars. The creative play from these cars and road is incredible. My children are learning and are entertained for far more than 15 minutes in a stationary position. Even better – all of this goes back into two small boxes on the shelf and can easily be accessed by both of them to carry and set up where they please.
- If a toy comes in, a toy needs to go out. A huge part of our problem was that we continued to add to our toy collection each holiday and birthday. More boxes came out and more shelf space was taken. It’s tough for a child to play with so much stuff because there are too many options and not enough room. It becomes suffocating. I encourage you to make the time to go through your toys with your kids and discuss which toys can be donated to children who might like to play with it. It is very easy for my 9 year old to claim that he needs his 5 shaped, singing cookie jar just because it is his. He does not play with it and likely never will again but another child might. I believe in working with him on this so he does not feel that I am hijacking his toys when he is not looking. Instead, he is learning the gift of giving. As of right now, we do this annually but I’d really like to make the time to go through this process twice a year with both boys.
- Choose toys that will provide long-term enjoyment. What do you notice brings your children joy? From the time my oldest could talk, I saw that he was very attentive to details. He could sit literally for hours watching his gampy draw or color. He’s an artist with a huge imagination. Now that he is 9, he has a desk in his room with paper and a box under his bed full of art supplies. If he needs something to do, I always grab a journal and some colored pencils. My youngest is not as easily entertained on his own and really enjoys playing with us or his brother. I noticed from the time he could pick things up on his own, he was fascinated with balls. He can catch, kick, and throw so well. This kid enjoys nothing more than to go outdoors and play catch with a ball. They are very different in their natural skills, but I am so proud of both of them. Embrace the talents that your children were given and help them grow through creative play.
- Finally, when deciding to buy a toy, think of the long-term outcome. Today, it is so easy for me to go to a store and find a $5 action figure for my son. Tomorrow, it probably has a broken arm or is stuffed under the couch forgotten. How much value will my boys find in this toy? Is it actually worth the $5? Think about how many times you can save $5 by avoiding a toy purchase. I would much rather save all of that money and invest it into an experience centered around their interests. Things like art lessons, basketball camp, or the children’s museum would be a better purchase with my savings.
At the end of the day, I always ask my boys what the best part of their day was. I cannot remember a time when they said, “buying a new toy”. The best part of their day is always an experience, not a purchase. I’m not an expert and I’ve made many mistakes (including filling my house with too many toys) but we are working on it. Moving forward, we are limiting toys and assisting them with learning how to give. In the end, they experiencing and giving joy. How do you balance gifts and toys in your home?
