Valentine’s Day is not typically considered a kid’s holiday. We celebrate love to our spouse or significant other while the kids pass out cheap cards at school. Growing up, I usually got some chocolate or a pair of socks from my parents as a gift but I did not see it as a big deal if they didn’t get me anything. My kids are still young (9 and 6-year-old boys) so I really didn’t think they’d care to celebrate the holiday either. Last year I definitely lost mom of the year and here’s why…
My older son needs gifts to feel love while my younger son needs quality time. My husband and I planned an outing alone and gave each other a small gift in front of the kids. We wanted to show them that it’s important to celebrate love with your husband or wife. They went to school and saw that their friends had special lunches with notes in their lunchboxes. Teachers had handwritten cards expressing how much they appreciated them. They also learned about the gifts that their friends’ parents had given to them before school. It was things like a special breakfast, a flower, a piece of chocolate, an outing planned later in the week, or an actual new toy. The combination of our lack of effort towards them in the morning and their friends’ excitement all day created waterworks after getting off the bus. I felt horrible.
Know Each Family Member’s Love Language
I knew my sons’ love languages and I failed them. It is so important to know your family’s love languages so you can express love the way they need to feel it. Dr. Gary Chapman talks about the 5 love languages: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, and acts of service. If you haven’t done so already, please take the free quiz here. There is even a book on understanding love languages for kids!
Show Your Kids Some Love
Many couples have Valentine’s date night plans and that’s okay. I’d suggest planning a time to celebrate Valentine’s day with the kids as well. Let them know it’s coming so they are excited about what is to come. Not every child will feel excluded or need to be involved with the holiday, but a small amount of effort can make a big impact. So why not try? Here are some ideas to get you started:
Quality Time
- Do a game night together with a special pizza. There are free games that you can rent at the library if you want to try something new. If you have a multiplayer game console, that’ll work too! Buy ingredients at the grocery store and build your own pizzas together at home.
- Create your own Valentine’s day cards together! Use construction paper, crayons, markers, glue, glitter, pictures from magazines, etc. Make sure all of your child’s classmates and/or family members get a special card.
- Make a craft together. You could likely do this with things you have at home. Here are some ideas from another blogger who specializes in crafting with kids!
- If you have a membership somewhere, go and visit for the day. The zoo, children’s museum, golf, theater, or national park are great places for kids to explore. You could even create a scavenger hunt at one of these locations to spice it up a bit.
Words of Affirmation
- Write a fun poem and put it in your kids’ lunchbox or on their mirror in the bathroom. Be sure to include why you love your child in the poem. Be specific here!
- Make a card with some of the characters from your child’s favorite shows. Have fun with making some chat bubbles above their head. Why do the characters and you think your kid is so great?
- Create a flipbook out of construction paper and markers. On each page, write something you love about your child, why they are special, and what makes you proud of them.
- Stick post-it notes all over your child’s room while they are sleeping. Each post-it note should include a special memory, a reason why you love or appreciate them, or something they did to make you proud. Cover the room!
Gifts
- Find a small Lego set that you can do with your child. What are their interests? Star Wars? Ninjago? Frozen? Toy Story? There are so many options that you can likely find at your local Wal-Mart or Amazon. Be intentional with finding something they will enjoy long term.
- Kohls Cares always has the cutest books and stuffed animals for only $5 each. We have an overabundance of stuffed animals and ideally, I’d be happy to never buy one again. However, sometimes a $5 Paddington bear and book will be worth it. My son still loves to read the book with the bear.
- Check the clearance section at your local stores. I found Star Wars Masher sets for only $2! Mashers can be taken apart and redesigned with other Mashers so it makes for a long playtime with the kids. It’s something you can create together! Get creative when exploring this section of the store. Find a way to spend time with your child with the new toy.
- Get some books! We have a collection of books that our kids will read over and over again. Our space is limited in the house so we rarely buy new unless it is part of that collection. Take your kids to the library and let them check out some new books. Or swap with a friend. Are there books that your kids no longer read? Perhaps your friend’s child would read them and in turn give you some that they no longer use.
Physical Touch
- Spend some time snuggling on the couch watching your child’s favorite movie or TV show. Get some popcorn and candy and make it a special event.
- Set up a family outing where you know you would spend time hand in hand with your child. Walk a museum together, go on a train ride, shop, or go snow tubing. This gives you the perfect opportunity to talk while meeting their physical touch need.
- Bake cookies or a cake together. Help your child with measuring and pouring the ingredients. High five each other along the way.
- Allow your child to sit on your lap while you read them a story. If they’re too big to sit on your lap, snuggle with them and read a story together.
Acts of Service
- Help your child with one of their chores. We have a list that we work through each week. Could you help your child with cleaning their room? Picking up toys?
- Do homework time with them. They might be perfectly fine to do this on their own but get involved this time. Ask questions. Learn their interests as well as their struggles.
- Create a time to go serve others together. Does your child like animals? Volunteer to walk some dogs at the Humane Society. Unsure of where to start? Here are 50 kid-friendly volunteer ideas!
- Make your child their favorite dessert! What do they love to eat as a special treat more than anything? Spoil them on this holiday!
While Valentine’s Day is traditionally thought of as a love holiday between couples, it can definitely involve the entire family too. I still believe it’s important to show your spouse love alone and to allow your kids to see that too. They need to feel secure in knowing that their parents love each other. Not to mention, you need alone time with your spouse as well! How does your family celebrate Valentine’s Day? Do you do something special for your kids?
