Valentine’s Day is coming fast! I have a love/hate relationship with this day. The idea of celebrating love and happiness is wonderful but I hate the expectations we have developed from what society tells us about love. There are news articles and pictures on social media that tell me I have to spend hundreds of dollars to show my Valentine I love them. If my Valentine doesn’t buy me a Tiffany bracelet then he must not care about me as much as I thought. And that hurts. But does it? Why do I care about getting an expensive gift? To show others that my husband actually cares and here’s the proof?
I really started to think about this holiday over the years and here’s what I’ve concluded:
- It is easy to set expectations that our Valentine will never meet. More money does not mean more love.
- My relationship should not be compared to anyone else’s. What my husband and I have does not match any other relationship.
- I love a good reason to go on a date with my husband and celebrate another Valentine’s Day together. Plain and simple.
Communicate Expectations
As a couple, communicate your expectations of this day. Do this whether it is your first Valentine’s day together or your 25th. I’ve heard so many people say that their significant other repeatedly will let them down on Valentine’s day so they no longer enjoy the day. Talk to them! I know it feels awkward to tell your significant other what you need but I bet they would appreciate it. They love you and want to do everything they can to show you love. Often times they have no idea what you expect or need. In return, ask them what they expect on this holiday. What makes them feel special? This brings me to my next point.
Learn Your Love Language
In my prior post, I briefly touched on Dr. Gary Chapman’s love languages. I’m circling back to this again now. Know your Valentine’s love language! If you don’t know your love language, you can take this free quiz! This is crucial in knowing how to express love to your Valentine. It is so easy for us to show love in the ways that we feel love, however, that could leave your Valentine confused and unloved.
After you have both had the expectations conversation and are clear on your love languages, begin to brainstorm your plans. I’ll get you started:
Acts of Service
- Clean the house. This is plain and simple. Anyone would appreciate a clean home to relax in after work. Surprise them!
- Do the laundry and follow it through by putting it away. Remember the idea is to create LESS work for your significant other. Don’t start it and walk away.
- Make your significant other their favorite meal or wake them up with breakfast. I know they’d appreciate eating their favorite dish while relaxing with you.
- Load and unload the dishwasher. Don’t forget to wipe down the counters!
Gifts
- Frame a picture of something memorable between the two of you. Is there a concert of your favorite band, a beach from your anniversary, a mountain from your honeymoon? Get a large print and invest in a nice frame to hang in your home.
- Check for an Amazon wish list and surprise them with a purchase. If they don’t have an Amazon list, create your own for them. Now you will have a nice start on ideas for what to get your significant other on holidays and birthdays.
- Listen for hints! You’re likely out and about together often. When do they say “I would love to have X.” “This is my favorite X.” Is it Starbucks coffee? A movie or book? New shoes?
- Make them something! Use what you have at home to create a gift. Maybe a journal with poems or notes you’ve written each other, a photobook of pictures you’ve taken over the year (or years). Or edit your wedding video for an updated fun version to watch together.
Quality Time
- Spend time at a cooking class together. Date night and making dinner together! Or as a cheaper alternative – do this at home. There are so many YouTube videos that show you how to cook. Set it up and get cooking!
- Try something new together! Archery. Go to a shooting range. Perhaps go-karts? A museum? Check out some local places and take the plunge. If you hate it, then you have the memory of trying it together to laugh about later.
- This might sound strange but get some Legos! You can purchase a specific design or just get a random group of Legos to build. Work together to create what is on the box or to design something new and fun together.
- Do you have a game console? Play a game together. If you don’t have a game console, you can download multiplayer games on your phones to play together. Or even better – go rent a board game or puzzle from the library!
Words of Affirmation
- Get some post-it notes to post things you love about your significant other around the house. Surprise them when they wake up or get home from work. You could even turn this into a scavenger hunt where the end leads to a poem or card you made for them.
- Find scripture that describes your spouse. How do you see the image of God in them? You can print it out, laminate it, create a card out of it…something that they can keep to remind them of their worth and who they are.
- Take the time to truly write out what you love about your significant other. What makes them special to you and why? Be specific. Don’t leave out the details. What do you appreciate about them?
- Gather some of your favorite pictures together and make a small scrapbook. Under the pictures, write why that moment was special to you and a reason you love your spouse.
Physical Touch
- Make the extra effort to do something that requires more physical touch. This could be an outing together like golfing (or Top Golf for us who live in the north during the month of February). Take the time to help each other adjust in your form to perfect your skill!
- Create your own couple’s massage together. Turn on relaxing music and don’t set up an end time.
- Make a point to hug and kiss longer, especially on this day. While you’re in that moment, think about the reasons why you love this person and tell them.
- Movie marathon. Rent a movie series at the library and do a marathon at home. (A lot of movies can be found on a streaming app now too). My husband and I have pushed couches together to create a bed so we could lay together. We set up snacks at the tables surrounding us. We were free to push pause to laugh and talk about different parts of the movies or get more snacks. No deadline to finish. I highly recommend starting with the Back to the Future series.
I have also bookmarked Alida’s Fun Date Ideas. We often do the same thing every date night…dinner and a movie. That’s great but we need to switch it up for Valentine’s Day and she has some great ideas here to get you started. She has even written a book with 175 ideas! You can pick a few that line up with your love languages too! Remember to keep those expectations clear and follow your significant other’s love language when planning your special day.
What Valentine’s ideas do you have? We’re always looking for something new!
