Growing up, my brother and I shared household chores along with my parents. I don’t recall an exact age that this started, however, I don’t remember a time when we weren’t assigned a chore of some sort to complete. I was always on laundry duty while my brother handled the dishes. We also took turns dusting and vacuuming our main floor and bedrooms. It wasn’t the most fun we’ve ever had but it taught us more than we thought.
Life Skills
Your kids need to learn to complete chores so they can one day perform these duties as adults. Nobody should be relying on a spouse to one day clean up after them. We’re teaching independence here! Chores take time to teach kids and it is much easier to do it for them. But they don’t learn just by watching! They need guidance and practice. We perfect a skill through practice and so will they.
Contribute to the Family
We always tell our kids that we’re a team. It’s not me vs. daddy or them vs. us. All of us play on the same team and root for each other. With that said, we all need to contribute to the team. I don’t want to hear my kids say “that’s not my job”, “that’s not my mess”, or “I can’t do it”. In this family, we step up and help each other. We want them to know that we’re always willing to help them and they need to be willing to do the same.
Finding Balance & Routine
Balance is not always an easy thing for us. We’re often ending our workdays to eat dinner and run off to our next extra-curricular activity. Life gets busy and things at home get tossed to the side. Creating a chore routine with your kids will help with creating some more balance and routine in life. For example, my kids get off the bus, run to their chore chart, and begin their afternoon activities. They know that they are not to get on the iPad or go down to the playroom until they have completed what is on that chore chart. These are not tough chores either. Typically we ask that they do homework, practice something hard from school (multiplication, sight words, etc), and clean something in the house. They look forward to completing their list. Which brings me to my next point.
Appreciation for Hard Work
When my kids first started doing chores, they were very disgruntled. They were mad that we made them dust their rooms, wash the towels, clean the countertops and so on. My oldest son even had the nerve to say, “why do I have to do everything and you get to do nothing?”. Uh…what did he just say to me? Over time he has seen that his dad and I do A LOT around the house to provide him with a great home. The other day he wrote in his journal that one day he anticipates his mom won’t have to do EVERYTHING around here. It was humorous and I’m glad he now appreciates the hard work that his dad and I do. The time you put into teaching your kids to do tough work will be worth it. Not only will they develop more skills, but they’ll also respect you and others for their hard work contributions.
Reward Yourself with Play
Work hard, play hard. Easy enough! We don’t get to be lazy all day every day. But there is a time for hard work and a time to just enjoy life. We build in times for the kids to spend time with just us without anyone working on chores. Last Saturday the boys took turns playing Nintendo with their dad for an hour. Our youngest son giggled so hard that entire hour. Every night before bed we play a card game together. Right now, it’s Uno. Don’t be so rigid that you don’t grant yourself playtime. You’ll need that time to decompress together after all of your hard work in supporting each other throughout the week.
Another idea to think about is paying your kids an allowance. I understand the pros and cons of doing this as compensation for chores. But that is a post for another time.
If you haven’t done so already, get a chore chart going for your kids. They might not appreciate it now, but they will as they get older. Let me know how it is going with them too! I hope your family finds success in the new routines that you create.
